The following is a true story. I am not kidding in the least bit, this really happened to me last night. Truth is stranger than fiction as they say.....

Last night I went to the "Olive Garden" restaurant for dinner with my friend Michelle.  http://www.olivegarden.com/   Both Michelle and I ordered  the Spaghetti & Meatball dinner. We also ordered salads, and garlic bread. I ordered a beer and Michelle ordered a white wine.

As we were enjoying our drinks & conversation, the couple next to us started to argue. The manager came over and asked the couple to quiet down, as there had been a few complaints.

Ten minutes later our food arrived. We were enjoying our dinner and drinks until the couple started up again. It was obvious they both had had too much to drink. The man called his wife a bitch, and she shot back, "You old fuck, I've been seeing "Roger" again behind your back, you miserable piece of shit". At this point both Michelle and I stopped talking so we wouldn't miss a word the two of them were having.

The man continued to call his wife a bitch, a whore, too skinny, too titless, too this, too that, etc. He even said she "resembled a dog turd" upon awakening in the morning. The woman fought back with her own venom by calling her husband "Marvin" every name in the book.The manager came over again and asked both of them to leave the restaurant. They refused. The manager looked at Michelle and I, and then he asked us if we were being disturbed. Michelle said right off, "Yes, they are being loud and obnoxious". I was about to say how much I was enjoying the show, but thought better of it.

The manager asked the couple to leave again, and again, they refused. The manager threatened to call the police if they didn't leave right away. I finally stood up and said to the couple, "Why don't you guys take this shit home, and let the rest of us folks eat in peace & quiet".

The crazy fucking woman grabbed a handful of pasta off her plate and threw it at me. The food landed on my neck and fell down my brand new white shirt. I was shocked, and so was Michelle who called the woman "a fucking looney". The woman picked up her water glass and threw it at Michelle, but Michelle ducked, and I got the ice water directly in my face. The manager witnessed the whole thing.

I was so fucking pissed I grabbed a meatball off my plate and smashed it in the womans face. She started to grab something else off her plate while her husband laughed hysterically. The fucking manager asked us all to leave at once.

I told the manager they started it, but he held up his hand in protest. I started to argue, but he said, "All of you get out of here now, or I will see to it that you all get arrested".....

God damn, can you believe it. My friend and I get kicked out of the place before we could even finish our meal. I went home and changed my shirt and Michelle and I went to KFC to eat fried chicken, biscuits and their fake mashed potatoes.